Newsletter:Right Now! Coach

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LifeRhyme Notes
Summer 2006
By Rochelle Melander, Coach
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IN THIS ISSUE...
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1. Welcome!
2. Letting Go
3. The Great Big Exciting Summer Reading List

Welcome!
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"How do you do it?"
I hear that question frequently. Usually the questioner means something like, "How do you manage your life and still get your books written so fast?"

I've been doing it for a long time. I wrote my master's thesis in one year, while taking all the coursework, teaching, babysitting, cleaning houses, and trying to have a life. Nearly every book I wrote with my husband was completed in less than three months, often in as little time as six weeks. In the fall of 2004, my friend Sue Lang and I wrote a book in nine days. This past year, I wrote a 500 page book in just over five months.

When I shared that question (How do you do it?) with my coach, she encouraged me to write a book.

So I am. And because writing a book is NOT SO DIFFERENT from doing any big thing in life, I'll be offering some of my suggestions in LifeRhyme Notes over the next few months. In addition, I've created a writing workshop for writers who want to write now and need to know how to do it RIGHT NOW. The Write Now! workshop announcement will be sent to you in a separate e-mail today. Below you can find my first thoughts about how to do big things and the Great Big Exciting Summer Reading List--just what you needed for these sultry days!

Welcome to the Summer issue of LifeRhyme Notes!

Letting Go
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Here's my first bit of advice for getting any big project done: Stop dusting.

You think I am kidding?

I'm not. In order to do something big, something that requires a huge chunk of time, energy, and chutzpah--you need to let go of some of the things that drain your energy. Or a lot of the things that drain your energy.

At least for a while.

When I started writing my last book, I asked myself this question: In order to get this done, what do you need to let go of? My list included some tangible tasks--like dusting and the volunteer work I do at my daughter's school. It also included less tangible items-- like my need for the book to be perfect. As I worked, I let go of more things--an early structure for the book, a schedule that didn't work, and mailing out Christmas cards.

As I let go of things, I began to notice how clinging tightly to something, someone, or some practice often robs us of an ability to see the big picture. Letting go, getting some distance--even for a time--can bring clarity. When we let go, we create the space to make new choices. When we let go of practices that deplete our energy, we discover energy for the tasks that inspire us.

Think about your own life. What do you need to let go of? You answer might be:
a practice
a relationship
an idea, belief, or attitude
a task
a commitment
a habit
stuff

As you think through this question, perhaps these words from the Indigo Girls will inspire you:

And it's alright though we worry and fuss,
we can't get over the hump or get over us.
It seems easier to push
than to let go and trust
but it's alright.
When we get a little distance some things get clearer.
Give em the space our hearts grow nearer.
I ran as hard as I could and still ended up here,
but it's alright.
-Emily Saliers, "It's Alright", on Shaming of the Sun

The Great Big Exciting Summer Reading List
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I injured my neck a few weeks ago. About the only thing that keeps me from moaning about the constant pain is reading. Right now I am knee deep in a Phil Rickman mystery featuring exorcist and priest Merrily Watkins. My pain is nothing compared to what she has to put up with--psychic projections, haunted cathedrals, and cranky elders. Anyway--perhaps one of these books will bring you much needed RELIEF from the summer heat!

Fiction
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The Bishop Goes to the University by Andrew Greeley
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In this book, part of Greeley's Bishop Blackie Ryan series, the Chicago bishop must solve the murder of an eccentric Russian Orthodox monk.
Blue Water by A. Manette Ansay
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Meg and Rex Van Dorn lose their beloved six-year-old son in a car accident caused by Cindy Ann, Meg's onetime best friend. In an attempt to survive this unspeakable loss, Meg and her husband set sail. There are no easy answers here-- just the story of a family grappling with grief.

Chamber Music by Doris Grumbach
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In her old age, Caroline Maclaren sets down the story of her life as the spouse of the composer Robert Maclaren. He was often a cold and distant husband, more interested in his music than people. Still, Caroline cared for him throughout his life and nursed him during a final illness. As he lives his last days, Caroline develops an enduring friendship with her husband's caregiver.

Dead Run by P. J. Tracy
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This is the third book in the series featuring the owners and operators of the Minneapolis-based Monkeewrench computer company. In this episode, Grace and Annie are headed to Green Bay, Wisconsin with Wisconsin Deputy Sharon Mueller in search of a serial killer. During a detour through the Wisconsin back country, the women happen upon a homegrown terrorist plot and find themselves fighting for their lives. The fourth book in the series, Snow Blind, is due out this August.

Every Inch of Her by Peter Sheridan
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240-pound Philomena Nolan, an abused housewife with five children, takes refuge in a convent. Nolan becomes an unlikely—and delightful— agent of change in the convent and the elder care center the nuns supervise. This change ripples through Nolan's community and her family--renewing lives.

The Lighthouse by P.D. James
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The 13th mystery featuring detective and poet Adam Dagliesh takes place on the remote Combe Island, a private property off the Cornish coast that is used as a retreat for beleaguered famous professionals. When novelist Nathan Oliver is murdered, Scotland Yard sends Dagliesh to solve the mystery.

The Poe Shadow by Matthew Pearl
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Pearl, the author of The Dante Club, takes on Edgar Allen Poe's mysterious death in this literary thriller. Quentin Clark, an attorney with independent means, learns of Poe's death--reported to have been from excess drinking. Clark sets out to clear Poe's reputation and solve the mystery surrounding the author's death.

Rose Madder by Stephen King
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After fourteen years of being beaten by her husband, Rose Daniels decides she's had enough and leaves, setting up a new life in another city. But her husband, police officer Norman Daniels, cannot let Rose go and sets off after her. I've not read much Stephen King, but I enjoyed this thriller which moves into fantasy in the middle of the story.

Memoir
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Bag Lady: A Memoir by Sandra Benitez
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Novelist Sandra Benitez (http://www.sandrabenitez.com/) self-published this riveting memoir about her struggle with ulcerative colitis. It chronicles her life with the disease before and after her decision to have an ileostomy and commit to wearing a plastic bag for the rest of her life.

Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life by Daniel Gottlieb
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Gottlieb has been paralyzed from the neck down since an automobile accident nearly twenty-five years ago. At fourteen months, Gottlieb's grandson Sam was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, a form of autism. This book collects 32 of of Gottlieb's letters to his young grandson--wise notes of hope and direction.

Ordinary Time: Cycles in Marriage, Faith, and Renewal by Nancy Mairs
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When the book opens, Mairs's husband is facing tests to find out if his cancer has reoccurred and has just revealed the existence of a now ended two-year affair. Mairs, struggling with advancing MS, reveals her own infidelities. This is the backdrop for Mairs's honest and riveting examination of marriage and faith.

The Pleasure of Their Company by Doris Grumbach
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I've come to love Grumbach's elegant prose. This book chronicles Grumbach's preparation for her 80th birthday party. As she constructs the guest list, Grumbach reminisces about friends and acquaintances, reflects on her prayer practices,

Non-fiction: A completely RANDOM list of good books
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Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice by James Rapson and Craig English.
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You may be too nice if you: tend to feel sorry for yourself rather than fix a problem; apologize frequently; worry about what other people think of you; and if you take what you get instead of ask for what you want (adapted from page 2). This book, written by a therapist, can help REALLY NICE PEOPLE understand why they are like this and help them to get real and love it!

A Continual Feast: Words of Comfort and Celebration
collected by Father Tim by Jan Karon
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This is the second book of inspiring quotations, prayers, and musings from the fictional Mitford minister, Father Tim. It's a fun collection to page through and offers some good musings to include in sermons and greeting cards!

The Courage to Start by John Bingham
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John Bingham was an overweight couch potato when he started running in his early forties. The first day he managed to run down his driveway. The book chronicles his transformation to being a marathon runner and teaches the reader how to gradually begin exercising. I am not a runner, but I found Bingham's advice to be both practical and inspiring.

Days Like This: A Collection of Small Poems
by Simon James
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These short poems capture the small moments that make life delicious--picnics, sleeping outside, sledding, and loving one another.

Everyday Simplicity: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Growth
by Robert J. Wicks
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This quiet book offers simple steps for including spirituality in the midst of a busy life. Read it each morning as you begin your day and feel the stress melt away!

Giant Children: Poems by Brod Bagert. Pictures by Ted Arnold
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I've always been fond of gross poetry and this collection does not disappoint. It will have you and the children you know laughing out loud--if you can tolerate the snakes and biting turtles and boogers.

More Book Lust by Nancy Pearl
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This book about books provides more than 1,000 reading recommendations on a whole bunch of topics for a variety of ages. If that isn't enough to draw you, Pearl's writing style will: straightforward, funny, and a little irreverant!

The New Feminine Brain: How Women Can Develop Their
Inner Strengths, Genius, and Intuition by Mona Lisa Schulz
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Schulz is a psychiatrist, brain scientist, and medical intuitive. In this book, Schulz explains the strengths of women's brains and teaches the reader to protect their brains and use intuition to heal emotional and physical problems.

Nothing Left Over: A Plain and Simple Life by Toinette Lippe
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Lippe, a former editor and publisher, talks about the meaning of life beyond stuff, money, and achievements. Although Lippe offers practical advice on living simply, this is more a book about the philosophy of simple living, offering spiritual wisdom for developing a life of gratitude and contentment.

Poetry on Record: 98 Poets Read Their Work (1888-2006)
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If you love poetry but don't have the time or patience to read it, get this collection of poets reading their own work. I heard only two excerpts-- Robert Frost reading The Road Not Taken and Galway Kinnel reading the touching After Making Love We Hear Footsteps--and was mesmerized.

The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstine
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This book has been a big hit with several of my clients. Lobenstine, a career and life coach, has designed a process to help people with multiple passions discover, design, and maintain what she calls an "umbrella" career. An umbrella job allows a worker to use several of his or her strengths and interests at work.

The Thong Also Rises:
Further Misadventures from Funny Women on the Road
edited by Jennifer Leo
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This book and two previous editions, Sand in My Bra and Whose Panties Are These, feature humorous travel writing about some of the more odd things that happen while adventuring away from home. Try it. It'll make you laugh!

The Trouble with Poetry and Other Poems by Billy Collins
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Former United States Poet Laureate, Collins's poems are filled with humor and irony. Just read a bit:
"Poetry speaks to all people, it is said, but here I would like to address only those in my own time zone..."
These are poems for people who are a bit fearful of poetry--they speak plainly and with a bit of irreverence for the hallowed halls of literature.

Vile Verses by Roald Dahl
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Where else can you read:
"I'm off to find a yummy child for lunch
Keep listening and you'll hear the bones go crunch!"
This is wild, raucus fun for the whole family. Read it aloud and laugh!

ROCHELLE'S NEW BOOK
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A Generous Presence: Spiritual Leadership and The Art of Coaching by Rochelle Melander (The Alban Institute 2006)
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This book provides insights that will encourage and guide you through the process of connecting with others in meaningful ways. Filled with practical tools and engaging personal reflections, A Generous Presence will help you use the power of coaching to change your life and improve your relationships.

Inspired?
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Are you inspired by what you read here?
Then pass it on!

Interested in connecting around the
important issues of life?
Give me a call at 414-963-1222 or
send me an e-mail
(rochelle@liferhymecoaching.com)
to set up a free coaching consultation!

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