Newsletter:Right Now! Coach

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LifeRhyme Notes
June 2002
By Rev. Rochelle Melander, Coach
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WELCOME!
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This month's newsletter is about friendship. Pass it on to a friend -- old or new -- with whom you'd like to connect!

NEW BOOK AND FREE SPEAKING!
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Our newest book, "The Spiritual Leader's Guide to Self-Care," will be released this JULY. The fifty-two weeks of exercises are packed full of information, guidance, and suggestions on topics as varied as creating your life's vision, setting boundaries, coping with toxic people, creating an exercise program, and making learning a priority. Visit The Alban Institute to order your copy today (www.alban.org).

If your small group, clergy group, or group of friends is interested in having the authors speak to your group via telephone for free, send me an e-mail! (rochelle@liferhymecoaching.com)

AND WATCH YOUR E-MAILBOX...I'll be offer- ing free telephone classes about topics in the book later this summer. I'll announce them here -- in LifeRhyme Notes!

YOU COULD BE THE NEXT WINNER!
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Sue Lang won the May drawing and will receive a copy of either "Dancing in the Aisle" or "Timeouts with God." Congratulations, Sue!

I am offering another book contest for June. Visit the "improved" LifeRhyme Coaching Web site and share your wisdom on LifeRhyme Exchange to be entered into the drawing!

IN THIS ISSUE...
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Friendship
Single Step Challenge (TM)
Brief Book Reviews
Quote for the Journey
News

Friendship
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I write frequently about juggling roles and tasks. In my head, I see the image of a circus performer spinning plates and when just doing that seems enough, she balances six or seven of them on her hands, feet and, nose. Then the juggler defies all sense as she eats an apple while balancing the spinning plates.

Trying to maintain friendships in the midst of life's balancing act is a bit like trying to eat while juggling. It's difficult but also essential. Like daily bread, friendships offer the sustenance we need to survive. In the midst of this juggling we all do, the pauses we take to connect with friends in person, on the phone, and through e-mail provide us with "holy moments." These are times and spaces set apart from the daily grind, where we can connect in a powerful and healing way.

In the weeks before our second child was born, I think I called (or e-mailed) most of the women I know (and some of the men as well)! I felt a deep need to collect their wisdom and strength for my journey through birth and into the baby cave. A recent study out of UCLA explains that women respond to stress differently than men. While men practice "fight or flight" and often take off to be alone, women have a "tend and befriend" response to stress. Women want to gather together their children and other loved ones, tend to them, and talk to others about the stress. When this happens, the hormone oxytocin is released, producing a calming effect. (Oxytocin is the hormone that is released when a woman breastfeeds a baby.) The researchers said that the results of their study are extremely significant: not having a friend can be as bad for your health as smoking or carrying extra weight. And what about men? A similar study (about men, oxytocin, and friendship) found that friendship also reduced stress in men. Many studies report that all types of friendship help the body's immune system resist disease. People who have friends eat better, sleep better, and generally take better care of their health.

I tell my clients who have difficulty getting started on their projects to follow the advice made popular by Nike: JUST DO IT. For those of you who struggle to make time to be with your friends, I offer the same advice: JUST DO IT. There will never be a perfect time and your work will never be finished. So, clear off a space in your busy calendar and call a friend! Just do it.

SINGLE STEP CHALLENGE (TM)
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Make it a priority this month to connect with an old friend or make a new one. Just do it!

BRIEF BOOK REVIEWS
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"Women of the Silk" and "The Language of the Threads," by Gail Tsukiyama. Set in China, these books chronicle a deep friendship between two women who work in the silk factory.

"A Prayerbook for Spiritual Friends," by Madeleine L'Engle and Luci Shaw. This dialogue between writers and friends offers insights into developing a spiritual friendship.

QUOTE FOR THE JOURNEY
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"The time I have left is for real connections."
May Sarton in the novel, "A Reckoning."

SPEAKING SCHEDULE
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June 6-8, 2002
Write-to-Publish Conference in Wheaton, IL
Reading for Writers
Making Time to Write

July 28, 2002
Germanfest Worship Service in Milwaukee, WI

GOT A BOOK IDEA??
WANT TO CREATE A GREAT WEB SITE?
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I also offer writing coaching! As an experienced author and editor, I can support you in putting your thoughts on paper ...AND GETTING THEM PUBLISHED!

Contact me for details:
rochelle@liferhymecoaching.com

A FREEBIE
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+Needing to create the time, space, and energy to do what you love?
+Wanting some guidance as you discover what you want from life?
+Looking for someone to encourage you to stick to your goals?
Newsletter recipients are welcome to a free coaching session, done by telephone, with Coach Rochelle Melander. Groups in the Milwaukee area are welcome to a free speaking session. Call 414-771-1408 or e-mail Rochelle at rochelle@liferhymecoaching.com for more information.

SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
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