Newsletter:Right Now! Coach

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LifeRhyme Notes
October 2001
By Rev. Rochelle Melander, Coach
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WELCOME!
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Welcome to the October issue of LifeRhyme Notes, a monthly e-mail newsletter designed to encourage readers to integrate spirituality into their daily lives. As always, I encourage you to forward LifeRhyme Notes to anyone who you think might enjoy it!

FREE TO SUBSCRIBERS!!
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As we come to the end of October and move into the holiday season, consider scheduling a free coaching session to think about how you can create a plan for making your holiday celebrations spiritually nurturing to you.

IN THIS ISSUE...
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The Perfect Present!
Single Step Challenge (TM)
Brief Book Reviews
Quote for the Journey

THE PERFECT PRESENT!
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One of the catch-phrases in the coaching community is "the perfect present." With the saying comes the sense that no matter what, there is a perfection in the present moment. I have struggled with this saying for a year, especially after the horrible events of September 11th. In the process of wrestling with this idea, I've come to treasure this saying in my own life.

For many years I have longed for my life to be "perfect" -- but I never measured up. I always heard that voice in my head saying, "You could do more, be more, accomplish more, etc." I think all of us live with unrealistic notions of what life should be like. The "perfection demon" prevents us from seeing what is perfect in who we are, where we are at, and what we have RIGHT NOW. Television can make real life seem so glamorous that many of us set unrealistically high expectations for what we SHOULD be able to accomplish in a day (and how we will look in the process)! When our reality doesn't match up with the ideal, we are left feeling "less than" all those other people who are obviously more perfect than we are.

For some of us, this "perfection demon" ties us to a place of inaction -- waiting for the perfect moment to do what we dream. We link together a long list of "if onlys" and attach our dream to the end. If only we could lose weight, if only we could earn more money, if only we felt more safe, if only we could move forward with certainty, if only we were prettier or more organized or more loved -- THEN we could be happy, accomplish our dreams, have that ideal relationship, enjoy our work, get our book published, make that sale, and so forth. We postpone our own happiness as we wait for that "perfect moment" to come.

Now I am beginning to understand that the present is perfect -- just the way it is. I am learning to postpone nothing, to engage fully in the present moment, whatever it brings. Consider this...

The dictionary definition of perfect. It does not simply mean "ideal" -- it also means "complete." So, to look at the present as perfect -- whatever it holds -- is to look at it as being complete or whole. The present does not need to be judged against an imaginary ideal -- it is complete in and of itself.

I am struck by the people who God called to do the important stuff in the Bible (and throughout history). They were not perfect -- nor did God wait until they "got better" or "the situation improved." In fact, many of them were downright flawed. Think about it...Abraham and Sarah -- old and barren -- actually laughed in God's face at the prospect of becoming parents to a whole host of descendants. Moses, by his own account, was a "bumbler" -- not gifted at speech-giving and leadership. David had a problem with sexual indiscretion. Jeremiah, the child; Mary, the teenager; Thomas, the doubter. Still, God called each of these people to be leaders. Look around at the people who are leaders today. They are far from perfect -- and yet something about who they are is perfect for what they do.

It seems to me that something big shifts for me when I stop judging and comparing my present to an imagined ideal and instead see it as perfect. When I see the present only for what it lacks, I lose. I lose my connection with the people I am with, with the beauty and wonder of the moment, with God. When I see the present as perfect -- as whole and complete -- I can relax and be present to the people and places that surround me. When I see the present as perfect, I stop seeing myself as "less than" and I can be myself. From that perfect place, I can take the steps necessary to do what God calls me to do with my life.

What I wish for you this month, dear readers, is that you will stop comparing your life to that of others, that you will stop muttering "if only," that you will not wait for life to be safer or less scary or anything other than it is. I hope that you will instead look at your life and ponder its perfection. In that perfect place, whole and complete, just as God created you to be, you are greatly blessed.

SINGLE STEP CHALLENGE (TM)
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Each day this month, take a few moments to reflect on what is perfect (or whole or complete) about your life in the present. Maybe you will want to keep a list in your journal. When you have finished, read it over. Dwell on it! Then, if it is comfortable for you, say a prayer of gratitude.

As the month progresses and you dwell more on what is right about your life, reflect on what shifts for you.

BRIEF BOOK REVIEWS
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Meg learns what is perfect about her imperfect self in the Newbery award winning novel "A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle.

In "Operating Instructions" by Anne Lamott, the author chronicles her son's first year -- and her first year as a mother. Not much in Lamott's chronicle would get the teacher's "perfect" stamp -- and yet the reader can sense the perfection of it all as Lamott and her community of friends and family loves and nurtures her little boy.

Florence Parry Heide's "Tales for the Perfect Child" presents stories about highly humorous and lovable -- if imperfect -- children.

QUOTE FOR THE JOURNEY
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Sometimes we spend so much time envying the good fortune of our friends and neighbors that we fully miss the fact that our own Halloween bag is overflowing with treats.

NEWS
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Check out the LifeRhyme Coaching Website! Visit www.liferhymecoaching.com for all sorts of great treats and information! While you are there, stop in at the LifeRhyme Exchange to exchange your ideas about this month's newsletter with other subscribers! We welcome your comments and ideas! * Come and hear me speak about writing the perfect non-fiction book proposal. I'll be at the Barnes and Noble at Mayfair Mall in Wauwatosa, WI (North Avenue and Mayfair Road) on Thursday, November 15th at 7:00 PM.

Please visit www.the lutheran.org and read our article about children and spirituality, "Of Ants and Dandelions."

Purchase our newest book for your daily spiritual reading: "Timeouts with God: Meditations for Parents" by Rochelle Melander and Harold Eppley. It's available at most online bookstores!

THANK YOU!
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A huge thank you to the members of my Coach University "Empowering" class, led by Elisabeth Gortschacher this past August, for being my companions and instructors as I struggled to make sense of embracing the perfect present in an imperfect world.

A FREEBIE
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+Frustrated with juggling work and the rest of your life?
+Needing help figuring out what you want from life or how to get there?
+Overwhelmed?
Newsletter recipients are welcome to a free coaching session, done by telephone, with Coach Rochelle Melander. Groups in the Milwaukee area are welcome to a free speaking session. Call 414-771-1408 or e-mail Rochelle at rymhwe@execpc.com for more information.

SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
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LIFERHYME NOTES 2001 is written and produced by Rochelle Melander, personal and professional coach. If you have any questions or comments, please send them to: rochelle@liferhymecoaching.com.
I would love to hear from you.

Feel free to forward your copy of LIFERHYME NOTES to anyone you think might enjoy it. I do request that you keep the entire newsletter intact, including my contact and copyright information.